Wednesday, February 4, 2009


This is a little over due, but well worth the wait! I recently got back from Sundance, yes as in the Sundance Film Festival. First things first, how can I become a celeb and live the high life? It was absolutely F-ing amazing and I could def. pick up and move to Park City to become a snow bunny. I only made it to one movie, but everything about it beat my expectations. Let me step back for a second, I was there for work, so it wasn’t all glam, parties, drinking, rubbing elbows with celebs and skiing. But it beat sitting in the office any day.

From A-list to D-list I saw them all! Started the week off with the one and only Russell Simmons. To name a few I saw half of Mariah Carey, Michelle Trachtenberg (stupid Gossip Girl slut), Damien from Mean Girls – who is SOOOO much cuter in person, Aubrey O’day, Jeff Daniels, Paul Giamatti, Sam Rockwell, Seth Green, Emma Roberts, Pierce Brosnan, Chris Rock, Bill Hader, Kristen Wigg, Rachel Dratch, Kardashian sisters and Billy Bush. One of the first nights there I finally heard DJ AM spin, if you can I highly recommend, very impressive. Paris showed up and did a “loop” of the party. Surprisingly she looked normal despite the pictures that surfaced of her later in her pink "outfit."

While the above isn’t the most impressive, I saved the best for last. Drum Roll please, KRISTEN STEWART and AMY POEHLER. If you know me at all you know I’d give my left tit to meet Amy Poehler, as Baby Mama is my FAVORITE movie EVER. No joke, I might have an addiction, I’ve watched the thing 10+ times and could recite line for line. I’ve spent countless amounts of money on ON DEMAND watching it, I alone was helping the economy just by purchasing it. I mean who wouldn’t like basically two hours of improv with Amy and Tina, “ohhh-ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

Then there was Kristen Stewart. I got to sit in on her interview with Access Hollywood and let’s just say it’s a good thing it was her and not Edward, as I def. didn’t trust myself being in such proximity to him. This calm and professional 25 year-old would’ve turned into rabid tween begging him to “bite me.” I could feel the blood pulsing through my body, maybe he would sense the increase in my heart beat and show up at my side ready to make me immortal.

Ok, ok, I know, I’m getting side tracked, it’s just so easy! My dream was to meet John Krasinski and I spent all 10 days on a psycho man-hunt for him. Everyone I was with had my number on speed dial and had strict instructions to act immediately and I would come running. I could already see it now, we meet, love at first site and he dumps that skinny twit Emily Blunt for me. “No John, you’re funny,” “No, flats, you’re funnier.” Yet, it never happened. He was aloof and probably got the memo that “psycho brunette from Chicago was on the loose and would stop at nothing to meet JIM.”

Clearly this post explains the below.

Attraction is not a choice,

1 comment:

Birnbaum said...

You'd give your left tit anyway...think of something more highly coveted, Flats. Now...If I gave mine...that's another story.