Mama J!

My friend is having a baby, AHHHHHH!!!!

Sunday night I received two messages from my dear friend in Boise, Idaho! Yes, I do know people who live in Idaho, please don’t ask me why. She has been married for almost three years, yes we do live in different worlds. However, for three years every time I talked to her I asked her if she was pregnant, half joking and half serious. Well ladies and gents, my question's finally been answered. My dear “J” is expecting a little bundle of joy this August. While I’ve been asking the question for years, I apparently wasn't prepared for her to say yes. I was in the kitchen making dinner and I dropped both my knife and my jaw. A child!!!!!!!! A teeny little baby!!!!!!!!! A kid!!!!!!!!! Are you F*ing kidding me???

This is serious, people!! This isn’t like, whoops I got knocked up, what do I do? This was a pre-meditated act. They discussed having a kid, she went off birth control and then BAM, impregnated! She is a little over three months and can feel the little bugger moving around in there, yikes!

Once upon a time when we were fresh out of HS, not a day older than 19, "J" and I were roommates in beautiful Eugene, Oregon (ahhh, we’ll save that for another time. Before Miami of Ohio spit me out, I did dabble in some other activities). We shared a house right on the edge of campus with four other girls and had the time of our life, bitching about the rain and how much we hated Oregon. She was obsessed with pink, smoked more than Snoop and we spent our days sitting on the front steps drinking rum and coke, somewhere in between we did manage to make it to class. One night I broke her window, by accident, and she was a little over-served, that it wasn’t until the next morning she realized she had no window and had slept with glass all over her floor, whoops!

SHE was having a baby, never mind already married, with her Masters, teaching elementary school and living in a 3-bedroom house in Boise!! My world literally had flipped on its axis. How were we the same age? Why was I starting to feel like I was so behind the game? In August, my oldest friend in the world is getting married, “J” is having a baby and I am turning 26!!!! Was it time to hang up my dancing shoes and start leaving the bars before last call and the lights came on?

Tonight I was at work until 7:30, I ate a can of Healthy Choice light soup for lunch and let’s be real, I’m probably going home to watch the stupid Grey’s/Private Practice “cross-over event.” I’m painfully single, not even sure I could pay someone to take me out on a date, have an allergic reaction to children and anything related to pregnancy, I’m not clean or tidy, I don’t do my dishes or laundry often. I’ve been known to buy new socks when I run out rather than cleaning them. Who on earth is going to marry me? Will I be Katherine Heigl, always the bridesmaid, never the bride? Maybe I have Peter Pan syndrome, and I’m doomed to NeverNever Land to live with the lost boys and defeat Captain Hook.

Either way, get ready for the next few months. August is going to be a big, BIG month and we’re going to have to do some recon work.

Attraction is not a choice,
flats